1.) Pulse?
-What the fuck? Are they ghosts? Are they just malicious entities channeled through technology? Did we create them? WHERE IS THE CLARIFICATION?
Achilles' Heel: Bad acting, vague storyline
2.) I Know Who Killed Me
-Yeah. If the sex scene (which wasn't much to brag about) is the one thing the movie is popular for, the chances are that the remainder of the film sucks even more ass. And trust me. I was counting down till it ended.
Achilles' Heel: Didn't pay the actors enough, 'cause they sounded like Hayden Christensen. We'll discuss him later.
3.) The Covenant
-The script was so laced with sordid one-liners that I burst out laughing when the main character fucking died.
Achilles' Heel: Corny dialogue/story/characters
4.) Dragon Ball: Evolution
-Well...the cast was good-looking at least!
Achilles' Heel: plethora: definition = overabundance
5.) Spider-Man 3
-Since when is Topher Grace intimidating in ANY way? I still think of him as the cutie from That '70's Show! Now he's kidnappin' bitches and making death threats.
Achilles' Heel: Dialogue, weak-ass storyline
6.) From Justin to Kelly
-Oh, man. Let's just give it half a star and be done with it. So bad I can't even mention the Achilles' Heel.
7.) Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
-If this is supposed to be the saddest one and I cracked up at the scene that is supposed to evoke tears and sorrow then it's got to be bad.
Achilles' Heel: Hayden Christensen being himself. Which would be hot but terrible at acting.
8.) The Mothman Prophecies
-I used to love this movie until I realized that they never showed Mothman at all. And most of the movie's about pointless side stories and Richard Gere's broken heart. An Officer and a Gentleman with paranormal tendencies.
Achilles' Heel: Misleading title, confusing plot, bad line delivery
9.) Bio-Dome
-Oh, it sucks. You laughed your ass off at some parts but it sucked.
Achilles' Heel: Stephen Baldwin leeching off of Pauly Shore's hilarity
10.) Harry Potter and Everything After the Prisoner of Azkaban
-What, can't find a good director after Christopher Columbus? That difficult, huh?
Achilles' Heel: Cutting out the good stuff, not sticking to the plot and failing to elaborate on why the hell Karkaroff was in that room for any other reason than to create suspense
11.) Ghost Rider
-LMAO. "Look into my eyes." Ha-haaaaa.
Achilles' Heel: Hiring Nicholas Cage. That'd murder any movie.
12.) Cloverfield
-Oh, what the hell? That thing looked like a bloated/pregnant Godzilla! And you could only see it for half a second. I felt cheated.
Achilles' Heel: Not showing me of the monster I paid money to see
13.) Purple Rain
-Prince is really talented at singing and dancing.
Achilles' Heel: Bad dialogue, story line no one remembers, and the '80's.
14.) Any sequel Disney's done other than Toy Story 2
-I'ma 'bout to catch a case, guys.
Achilles' Heel: Stop making sequels that build on nothing from the PREVIOUS MOVIE. T_T
15.) William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet
-Putting the guy's name before the name of the play makes up for the fucked-up plot and botched modern adaptation? I think NOT.
Achilles' Heel: Claire Danes in those ridiculous angel wings and the whole 'We're talkin' 14th century in the '90's'.
16.) Stay Alive
-Hold me back.
Achilles' Heel: EVERYTHING
17.) An American Haunting
-The whole movie's just a huge 'WTF'. I wanted my money back thirty minutes in.
Achilles' Heel: Wasn't worthy of mah interest; horrible, horrible plot
18.) Havoc
-Anne Hathaway's a G now? NO, she's my adorable dork from The Princess Diaries, not a slutty suburbanite with a hankering for 40 oz.!
Achilles' Heel: Tooootal lack of believability
19.) Twilight
-I want to drive a stake through the series AND the movie.
Achilles' Heel: 'Spider monkey'? 'Say it out loud'? And Robert Pattinson having more make-up on than the Harajuku Girls? Unh-UNH.
20.) Every Friday after the first one!
-You know Mike Epps ain't funny.
Achilles' Heel: No Chris Tucker = no more humor
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