Are you serious? This would save me so much time and energy.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Music Lately
I've realllllly gotten selective with my music choice in the past few years. It used to be that a song could so much as enter my eardrums once and one, two, three; it's on my iPod.
Now my iPod selection is like getting into the fucking Ivy League. I don't know what the hell happened.
Now my iPod selection is like getting into the fucking Ivy League. I don't know what the hell happened.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
So What I Don't Get Is...
...boys named feminine names, and girls named masculine names. Not like Alex or Morgan for girls, but...Christian or Evan. And the dudes being named Lindsey or Courtney.
...how Asian now carries the connotation of the Far East alone.
...the fascination with attractive yet talentless people in our society.
...why 'that's what she said' got SO ridiculously popular. I find myself saying it, and subsequently screaming.
...gamer TV.
...the labeling of the Middle East as a problem area when it's been plunged in turmoil since the Battle of Kadesh in 1274 B.C.
...people who wear peace signs on their shirts and proclaim to love all, then walk by a nerd and say, "Eww."
... how white supremacists express anger over our presence here when we did not exactly teleport ourselves.
...how dumb blonde jokes came to be, and whether said blondes are that stupid or just feel the need to perpetuate the stereotype.
...who decided talking intelligently makes black people "white". So once upon a time we were uneducated and we still have to sound like that?
...when the ideal figure shrank from Marilyn Monroe at 10 to Kate Moss at size 0.
...the Wii. Dumbest idea for a video game console since Sega DreamCast.
...Abercrombie's obsession with pornographic posters.
...the thing with a guy macking making him a pimp, but a girl macking branding her a slut.
...how having a [insert ethnicity] friend certifies you as a non-racist when you start talking smack about their race in a negative way.
...gladiator sandals. Mm, no.
...fashion pieces that look like random, glued-together bits of construction paper.
...clothing over $250.
...the paparazzi's day-to-day schedule, and whether they have a list of celebrity stalkees or just go out on manhunts and hope to find one. Ha-ha, sad life.
...dyed Afros.
...the existence of any minority skinhead. Like this guy.
...how Japan lagged five years behind us in technology after World War II, and still precedes us THREE years sixty-six years later! It's embarrasing.
...how anyone is ashamed to be exactly who they are.
...how fashion companies have a "black slot" that they already have filled out and don't need anyone else for.
...this stigma of immigrants from Mexico and Central/South America. We were all immigrants at one point in our ancestries. You're treating these immigrants the same way that Americans treated your forefathers?
...the age of bad (horror) movies culminating in the past four years. Ugh.
...the way people just relate hip-hop to gangstas with Glocks and grills and then disregard it as a form of music.
...what is so bad about The Boondocks.
...no offense, but white people calling hip-hop/rap/R&B "YOUR MUSIC". AH, I COULD GO CRAZY.
...how Elvis is the king of rock 'n roll, and not Chuck Berry or Little Richard.
...anime making you a loser.
...Prefuse 73's album cover to Surrounded By Silence.
...the reluctance for a majority of Americans to be multicultural, like it's really that painful.
...what the hell happened to GOOD country.
...GANGURO.
...the eerie color of the sky as it prepares to rain.
...how Asian now carries the connotation of the Far East alone.
...the fascination with attractive yet talentless people in our society.
...why 'that's what she said' got SO ridiculously popular. I find myself saying it, and subsequently screaming.
...gamer TV.
...the labeling of the Middle East as a problem area when it's been plunged in turmoil since the Battle of Kadesh in 1274 B.C.
...people who wear peace signs on their shirts and proclaim to love all, then walk by a nerd and say, "Eww."
... how white supremacists express anger over our presence here when we did not exactly teleport ourselves.
...how dumb blonde jokes came to be, and whether said blondes are that stupid or just feel the need to perpetuate the stereotype.
...who decided talking intelligently makes black people "white". So once upon a time we were uneducated and we still have to sound like that?
...when the ideal figure shrank from Marilyn Monroe at 10 to Kate Moss at size 0.
...the Wii. Dumbest idea for a video game console since Sega DreamCast.
...Abercrombie's obsession with pornographic posters.
...the thing with a guy macking making him a pimp, but a girl macking branding her a slut.
...how having a [insert ethnicity] friend certifies you as a non-racist when you start talking smack about their race in a negative way.
...gladiator sandals. Mm, no.
...fashion pieces that look like random, glued-together bits of construction paper.
...clothing over $250.
...the paparazzi's day-to-day schedule, and whether they have a list of celebrity stalkees or just go out on manhunts and hope to find one. Ha-ha, sad life.
...dyed Afros.
...the existence of any minority skinhead. Like this guy.
...how Japan lagged five years behind us in technology after World War II, and still precedes us THREE years sixty-six years later! It's embarrasing.
...how anyone is ashamed to be exactly who they are.
...how fashion companies have a "black slot" that they already have filled out and don't need anyone else for.
...this stigma of immigrants from Mexico and Central/South America. We were all immigrants at one point in our ancestries. You're treating these immigrants the same way that Americans treated your forefathers?
...the age of bad (horror) movies culminating in the past four years. Ugh.
...the way people just relate hip-hop to gangstas with Glocks and grills and then disregard it as a form of music.
...what is so bad about The Boondocks.
...no offense, but white people calling hip-hop/rap/R&B "YOUR MUSIC". AH, I COULD GO CRAZY.
...how Elvis is the king of rock 'n roll, and not Chuck Berry or Little Richard.
...anime making you a loser.
...Prefuse 73's album cover to Surrounded By Silence.
...the reluctance for a majority of Americans to be multicultural, like it's really that painful.
...what the hell happened to GOOD country.
...GANGURO.
...the eerie color of the sky as it prepares to rain.
My Ultimate Hip-Hop Setlist
1.) P. Diddy - Bad Boy For Life
2.) Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth - They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)
3.) Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
4.) Junior Mafia - Players' Anthem
5.) Sugarhill Gang - Rapper's Delight
6.) Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five - The Message
7.) The Cool Kids - Black Mags
8.) Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check
9.) Craig Mack - Flava in Ya Ear
10.) Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice
11.) Dr. Dre/2Pac - California Love
12.) Lil' Kim - Crush On You
13.) A Tribe Called Quest - Award Tour
14.) Rob Sonic - New Car Smell
15.) Missy Elliott - The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)
16.) Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody
17.) Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says
18.) The Fugees - Killing Me Softly
19.) Nas - The World Is Yours
20.) Jay-Z - Can I Get A What What (feat. Amil and Ja Rule)
21.) Clipse - Grindin'
22.) Madvillain - Rainbows
23.) Psyche Origami - Dead Right
24.) Handsome Boy Modeling School - Holy Calamity (Bear Witness II)
25.) Outkast - So Fresh, So Clean
26.) Lauryn Hill - Everything is Everything
27.) Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
28.) Outkast - Rosa Parks
29.) Q-Tip - Breathe and Stop
30.) Mariah Carey - Fantasy
2.) Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth - They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)
3.) Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
4.) Junior Mafia - Players' Anthem
5.) Sugarhill Gang - Rapper's Delight
6.) Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five - The Message
7.) The Cool Kids - Black Mags
8.) Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check
9.) Craig Mack - Flava in Ya Ear
10.) Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice
11.) Dr. Dre/2Pac - California Love
12.) Lil' Kim - Crush On You
13.) A Tribe Called Quest - Award Tour
14.) Rob Sonic - New Car Smell
15.) Missy Elliott - The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)
16.) Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody
17.) Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says
18.) The Fugees - Killing Me Softly
19.) Nas - The World Is Yours
20.) Jay-Z - Can I Get A What What (feat. Amil and Ja Rule)
21.) Clipse - Grindin'
22.) Madvillain - Rainbows
23.) Psyche Origami - Dead Right
24.) Handsome Boy Modeling School - Holy Calamity (Bear Witness II)
25.) Outkast - So Fresh, So Clean
26.) Lauryn Hill - Everything is Everything
27.) Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
28.) Outkast - Rosa Parks
29.) Q-Tip - Breathe and Stop
30.) Mariah Carey - Fantasy
My Ultimate Rock Setlist
Laying in bed coughing up bile with nothing to do spawned my ongoing quest for the perfect collection of rock songs.
Let's kick it off.
1.) The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
2.) The White Stripes - Fell in Love with a Girl
3.) Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
4.) Led Zeppelin - Kashmir
5.) Jimi Hendrix - If 6 Was 9
6.) Metallica - Enter Sandman
7.) Rush - Freewill
8.) Guns 'n Roses - Paradise City
9.) Audioslave - Cochise
10.) Nirvana - In Bloom
11.) Cream - Sunshine of Your Love
12.) Tokyo Police Club - Centennial
13.) Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing
14.) Alice in Chains - Man in the Box
15.) Incubus - Drive
16.) Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
17.) The Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop
18.) Radiohead - 15 Step
19.) Blur - Song 2
20.) A Perfect Circle - Weak and Powerless
21.) Motley Crüe - Live Wire
22.) Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
23.) Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
24.) The Beatles - I Want to Hold Your Hand
25.) Audioslave - Like a Stone
26.) Nine Inch Nails - Closer
27.) Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
28.) Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird
29.) Bob Marley - Is This Love
30.) Butthole Surfers - Pepper
Let's kick it off.
1.) The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
2.) The White Stripes - Fell in Love with a Girl
3.) Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
4.) Led Zeppelin - Kashmir
5.) Jimi Hendrix - If 6 Was 9
6.) Metallica - Enter Sandman
7.) Rush - Freewill
8.) Guns 'n Roses - Paradise City
9.) Audioslave - Cochise
10.) Nirvana - In Bloom
11.) Cream - Sunshine of Your Love
12.) Tokyo Police Club - Centennial
13.) Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing
14.) Alice in Chains - Man in the Box
15.) Incubus - Drive
16.) Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
17.) The Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop
18.) Radiohead - 15 Step
19.) Blur - Song 2
20.) A Perfect Circle - Weak and Powerless
21.) Motley Crüe - Live Wire
22.) Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
23.) Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
24.) The Beatles - I Want to Hold Your Hand
25.) Audioslave - Like a Stone
26.) Nine Inch Nails - Closer
27.) Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
28.) Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird
29.) Bob Marley - Is This Love
30.) Butthole Surfers - Pepper
My Catharsis (featured on Andreas Johannes' page)
It's high time I tackled the most touchy subject in the entire universe to me: being "black".
You are born black. Your skin is... shades of brown, but in layman's terms, BLACK. This perpetual stereotype of blackness being fried chicken, Afro puffs, big booties and grills in your mouth has got to stop. I'm wearing thin as I traipse down the hallway with my boyfriend, being jeered at and put down as a sellout and all else. It's tiring. It's juvenile. And it stings bitterly.
I don't understand why I have to do these things to be proud of what I am. I don't get why people can't leave me alone because I would sometimes rather listen to Daft Punk instead of someone like Young Jeezy. I wish I could go places with my boo and not be made to feel like some kind of freak since he's ten shades lighter. And the pressure has permeated my psyche until I come home and cry in uncontrollable fits of rage and frustration.
Maybe it seems like a desperate wail for attention. I needed to express my distress to someone. I made the mistake of bottling my feelings, and now I feel like a total mess. The funny thing is, I was reading a blog by a Swedish guy named Andreas Johannes. He happens to like sistas. At first I thought he was being cynical and superficial. But then I just realized that he's just a down-to-earth guy who has a genuine love and interest for black women. That's so rare here, or anywhere, that I was overwhelmed. I should've been happy. Instead I became depressed.
I suppose after seeing me and other friends be nothing but conquests for any male, the sincerity was too much to handle. It just isn't the same in America. Here we're...
Back-up dancers and booty-shakers. Socially pressured to do things to our hair so that we look more European. Teased because of our natural hair and the way it isn't silky or long. Pursued because of sexual idolization instead of real love, like we deserve and desire. Good enough for singing and performing, but cast aside when it comes to modeling, because we aren't perceived as the ideal standard of beautiful. Am I making you uncomfortable?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Midnight Blue (Jack Morian)
Jack Morian pivoted on the edge of his skateboard, catching it reflexively as he looked around at the drab surroundings of Subterranea. He removed the faded Volcom cap on his dark-haired head, the tendrils framing a face so gaunt that he resembled more a war veteran than the seventeen-year-old he was.
Life underground took its toll on the citizens of this place, especially children. There were 5,550 residents of this city, though only 2% were below eighteen.
Sixty years ago, war had ravaged the Earth until the atmosphere was so contaminated with toxic gas and radioactive smog, all human beings and wildlife were forced to inhabit the underground levels of buildings across the world. Forever escaping the atmosphere, each year they would dig deeper. The war had followed, and the population dwindled because only a certain number of the refugees were of the proper age or condition to procreate. Food supply was low, and some of the wild animals had gotten loose.
TPS (Toxic Particle Sickness) cut that portion in half. These were the teachings of the Oligarchy since they were old enough to comprehend it. The government concealed the remainder that existed now, as to prevent anyone from getting any ideas. It was rumored that thousands of ‘Subterraneas’ had been established across the globe, but the Oligarchy had effective ways of silencing those who riled up the population. Jack and his friends had laughed. Couldn’t even go to the library and the government still held to the idea that someone would be intelligent enough to overthrow them. What could they do?
Secretly, beneath the toughened orphan exterior, he yearned for the time of his grandfather to return. Through him, Jack gained beautiful memories and visions of the world above—what had been. He remembered the look on his grandfather’s face when he had run out of stories to quell his thirsty imagination. The harsh reality of the inescapable concrete jungle rustled the boy that day, and before Jack knew it, he was at the site of the Arrival, the only route in and out of the city.
His feet were so accustomed to the way there that he could not prevent it. It was eerily besmirched; the streetlights of no use, and a few of Subterranea’s residents had even attempted to scale it to the top. None of them had ever come back from their endeavor.
Inez had speculated that it was haunted. Tori said that the way was blocked by means of some mysterious being, and that if you outwitted it, you could pass. Inez was part of a radical rebel battalion now and was forbidden to have any contact with civilians unless they were a part of the group. Tori had married another one of Jack’s friends, Mika, and he had fallen out of contact with them. Jack smiled. He would discern for himself the truth of the Arrival. Only touch could lead him; sight, smell, and hearing only served to terrify him further. Taste, he did not want to know. Stuck in limbo, he bit his lip, uncertain of the way back but apprehensive of the road ahead.
His hazel eyes widened in the darkness, a shimmer of light at the end of his line of sight. Memories tantalizing his mind, Jack eagerly journeyed on, his pace quickening until he was panting with hysteria. Faster. Faster. His psyche pushed him, body approaching exhaustion. His pale hand thrust out to grab another rung. There was none. Around the portal was a pure halo of light. Jack Morian got a tight hold on the lever and pushed upwards. What he beheld made him cry endlessly for decades after.
The sky was a beautiful midnight blue, and everywhere he looked, moonlight smiled upon the grassy plains.
They had lied.
Life underground took its toll on the citizens of this place, especially children. There were 5,550 residents of this city, though only 2% were below eighteen.
Sixty years ago, war had ravaged the Earth until the atmosphere was so contaminated with toxic gas and radioactive smog, all human beings and wildlife were forced to inhabit the underground levels of buildings across the world. Forever escaping the atmosphere, each year they would dig deeper. The war had followed, and the population dwindled because only a certain number of the refugees were of the proper age or condition to procreate. Food supply was low, and some of the wild animals had gotten loose.
TPS (Toxic Particle Sickness) cut that portion in half. These were the teachings of the Oligarchy since they were old enough to comprehend it. The government concealed the remainder that existed now, as to prevent anyone from getting any ideas. It was rumored that thousands of ‘Subterraneas’ had been established across the globe, but the Oligarchy had effective ways of silencing those who riled up the population. Jack and his friends had laughed. Couldn’t even go to the library and the government still held to the idea that someone would be intelligent enough to overthrow them. What could they do?
Secretly, beneath the toughened orphan exterior, he yearned for the time of his grandfather to return. Through him, Jack gained beautiful memories and visions of the world above—what had been. He remembered the look on his grandfather’s face when he had run out of stories to quell his thirsty imagination. The harsh reality of the inescapable concrete jungle rustled the boy that day, and before Jack knew it, he was at the site of the Arrival, the only route in and out of the city.
His feet were so accustomed to the way there that he could not prevent it. It was eerily besmirched; the streetlights of no use, and a few of Subterranea’s residents had even attempted to scale it to the top. None of them had ever come back from their endeavor.
Inez had speculated that it was haunted. Tori said that the way was blocked by means of some mysterious being, and that if you outwitted it, you could pass. Inez was part of a radical rebel battalion now and was forbidden to have any contact with civilians unless they were a part of the group. Tori had married another one of Jack’s friends, Mika, and he had fallen out of contact with them. Jack smiled. He would discern for himself the truth of the Arrival. Only touch could lead him; sight, smell, and hearing only served to terrify him further. Taste, he did not want to know. Stuck in limbo, he bit his lip, uncertain of the way back but apprehensive of the road ahead.
His hazel eyes widened in the darkness, a shimmer of light at the end of his line of sight. Memories tantalizing his mind, Jack eagerly journeyed on, his pace quickening until he was panting with hysteria. Faster. Faster. His psyche pushed him, body approaching exhaustion. His pale hand thrust out to grab another rung. There was none. Around the portal was a pure halo of light. Jack Morian got a tight hold on the lever and pushed upwards. What he beheld made him cry endlessly for decades after.
The sky was a beautiful midnight blue, and everywhere he looked, moonlight smiled upon the grassy plains.
They had lied.
Heritage
I am not ashamed to be what I am. Myriads of generations prior to mine have been to the extent where interchanging any another race with their true one seemed to be the only bearable alternative. Some of my fellow brethren still do.
This is not to say that I see no reason behind their actions, their mindset of inferiority. We live in a biased world, and the evidence can be found all around us. Society has always given African-Americans a rough time of it, made them suffer beyond the mind's limitations and berated them until their psyche surmised a less painful way of living.
If time were to rewind one-hundred years back, I cannot say that I would not consider turning my back on my identity.
Yet despite the belief that we are straight-up black, our heritages varies as much as anyone else's. Some African-Americans can trace their roots to the Revolution and prior. Others did not leave the African continent, by choice or without, until centuries after the initial slave arrival in the 1600's. Many have European ancestry because of liaisons masters had with slave women. To be honest, this vestige of mixed-up heritage is symbolic, because it not only represents the majority of us, but summarizes the mentality of black people perfectly.
In most of the African-American community, showing even a partial affinity for anything not stereotypically "black" (unfairly) constitutes this notion of treachery. Well.
I'm about 10% Filipino, 2% Irish, French, and mainly, ostensibly black. I love my heritage and do not hesitate to defend it or declare it to the world. I got teased extensively for my love of anime in middle school, and badmouthed for embracing the "Asian" rather than black. Heh. It was not so, but I am glad I realize their ignorance now for what it is.
I could have 0% Irish heritage or Filipino heritage, and walk around with the national anthem on my shirt in Gaelic, or bear a backpack that says 'Pride in the Philippines' with purple Sharpie. Not belonging to a culture but showing respect and love for it is not rejection of your own. Nor is it turning your back on it in treason; it is what a worldly person should be able to do without question. It is cosmopolitan and quite fun. Fuck haters, man. I like my lupia and maki rolls. We have differences, but they should be adored and accepted.
P.S. I love my folks. But I just don't know about some of 'em, mayn.
~End
This is not to say that I see no reason behind their actions, their mindset of inferiority. We live in a biased world, and the evidence can be found all around us. Society has always given African-Americans a rough time of it, made them suffer beyond the mind's limitations and berated them until their psyche surmised a less painful way of living.
If time were to rewind one-hundred years back, I cannot say that I would not consider turning my back on my identity.
Yet despite the belief that we are straight-up black, our heritages varies as much as anyone else's. Some African-Americans can trace their roots to the Revolution and prior. Others did not leave the African continent, by choice or without, until centuries after the initial slave arrival in the 1600's. Many have European ancestry because of liaisons masters had with slave women. To be honest, this vestige of mixed-up heritage is symbolic, because it not only represents the majority of us, but summarizes the mentality of black people perfectly.
In most of the African-American community, showing even a partial affinity for anything not stereotypically "black" (unfairly) constitutes this notion of treachery. Well.
I'm about 10% Filipino, 2% Irish, French, and mainly, ostensibly black. I love my heritage and do not hesitate to defend it or declare it to the world. I got teased extensively for my love of anime in middle school, and badmouthed for embracing the "Asian" rather than black. Heh. It was not so, but I am glad I realize their ignorance now for what it is.
I could have 0% Irish heritage or Filipino heritage, and walk around with the national anthem on my shirt in Gaelic, or bear a backpack that says 'Pride in the Philippines' with purple Sharpie. Not belonging to a culture but showing respect and love for it is not rejection of your own. Nor is it turning your back on it in treason; it is what a worldly person should be able to do without question. It is cosmopolitan and quite fun. Fuck haters, man. I like my lupia and maki rolls. We have differences, but they should be adored and accepted.
P.S. I love my folks. But I just don't know about some of 'em, mayn.
~End
Top Twenty Movie Failures of All Time
1.) Pulse?
-What the fuck? Are they ghosts? Are they just malicious entities channeled through technology? Did we create them? WHERE IS THE CLARIFICATION?
Achilles' Heel: Bad acting, vague storyline
2.) I Know Who Killed Me
-Yeah. If the sex scene (which wasn't much to brag about) is the one thing the movie is popular for, the chances are that the remainder of the film sucks even more ass. And trust me. I was counting down till it ended.
Achilles' Heel: Didn't pay the actors enough, 'cause they sounded like Hayden Christensen. We'll discuss him later.
3.) The Covenant
-The script was so laced with sordid one-liners that I burst out laughing when the main character fucking died.
Achilles' Heel: Corny dialogue/story/characters
4.) Dragon Ball: Evolution
-Well...the cast was good-looking at least!
Achilles' Heel: plethora: definition = overabundance
5.) Spider-Man 3
-Since when is Topher Grace intimidating in ANY way? I still think of him as the cutie from That '70's Show! Now he's kidnappin' bitches and making death threats.
Achilles' Heel: Dialogue, weak-ass storyline
6.) From Justin to Kelly
-Oh, man. Let's just give it half a star and be done with it. So bad I can't even mention the Achilles' Heel.
7.) Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
-If this is supposed to be the saddest one and I cracked up at the scene that is supposed to evoke tears and sorrow then it's got to be bad.
Achilles' Heel: Hayden Christensen being himself. Which would be hot but terrible at acting.
8.) The Mothman Prophecies
-I used to love this movie until I realized that they never showed Mothman at all. And most of the movie's about pointless side stories and Richard Gere's broken heart. An Officer and a Gentleman with paranormal tendencies.
Achilles' Heel: Misleading title, confusing plot, bad line delivery
9.) Bio-Dome
-Oh, it sucks. You laughed your ass off at some parts but it sucked.
Achilles' Heel: Stephen Baldwin leeching off of Pauly Shore's hilarity
10.) Harry Potter and Everything After the Prisoner of Azkaban
-What, can't find a good director after Christopher Columbus? That difficult, huh?
Achilles' Heel: Cutting out the good stuff, not sticking to the plot and failing to elaborate on why the hell Karkaroff was in that room for any other reason than to create suspense
11.) Ghost Rider
-LMAO. "Look into my eyes." Ha-haaaaa.
Achilles' Heel: Hiring Nicholas Cage. That'd murder any movie.
12.) Cloverfield
-Oh, what the hell? That thing looked like a bloated/pregnant Godzilla! And you could only see it for half a second. I felt cheated.
Achilles' Heel: Not showing me of the monster I paid money to see
13.) Purple Rain
-Prince is really talented at singing and dancing.
Achilles' Heel: Bad dialogue, story line no one remembers, and the '80's.
14.) Any sequel Disney's done other than Toy Story 2
-I'ma 'bout to catch a case, guys.
Achilles' Heel: Stop making sequels that build on nothing from the PREVIOUS MOVIE. T_T
15.) William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet
-Putting the guy's name before the name of the play makes up for the fucked-up plot and botched modern adaptation? I think NOT.
Achilles' Heel: Claire Danes in those ridiculous angel wings and the whole 'We're talkin' 14th century in the '90's'.
16.) Stay Alive
-Hold me back.
Achilles' Heel: EVERYTHING
17.) An American Haunting
-The whole movie's just a huge 'WTF'. I wanted my money back thirty minutes in.
Achilles' Heel: Wasn't worthy of mah interest; horrible, horrible plot
18.) Havoc
-Anne Hathaway's a G now? NO, she's my adorable dork from The Princess Diaries, not a slutty suburbanite with a hankering for 40 oz.!
Achilles' Heel: Tooootal lack of believability
19.) Twilight
-I want to drive a stake through the series AND the movie.
Achilles' Heel: 'Spider monkey'? 'Say it out loud'? And Robert Pattinson having more make-up on than the Harajuku Girls? Unh-UNH.
20.) Every Friday after the first one!
-You know Mike Epps ain't funny.
Achilles' Heel: No Chris Tucker = no more humor
-What the fuck? Are they ghosts? Are they just malicious entities channeled through technology? Did we create them? WHERE IS THE CLARIFICATION?
Achilles' Heel: Bad acting, vague storyline
2.) I Know Who Killed Me
-Yeah. If the sex scene (which wasn't much to brag about) is the one thing the movie is popular for, the chances are that the remainder of the film sucks even more ass. And trust me. I was counting down till it ended.
Achilles' Heel: Didn't pay the actors enough, 'cause they sounded like Hayden Christensen. We'll discuss him later.
3.) The Covenant
-The script was so laced with sordid one-liners that I burst out laughing when the main character fucking died.
Achilles' Heel: Corny dialogue/story/characters
4.) Dragon Ball: Evolution
-Well...the cast was good-looking at least!
Achilles' Heel: plethora: definition = overabundance
5.) Spider-Man 3
-Since when is Topher Grace intimidating in ANY way? I still think of him as the cutie from That '70's Show! Now he's kidnappin' bitches and making death threats.
Achilles' Heel: Dialogue, weak-ass storyline
6.) From Justin to Kelly
-Oh, man. Let's just give it half a star and be done with it. So bad I can't even mention the Achilles' Heel.
7.) Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
-If this is supposed to be the saddest one and I cracked up at the scene that is supposed to evoke tears and sorrow then it's got to be bad.
Achilles' Heel: Hayden Christensen being himself. Which would be hot but terrible at acting.
8.) The Mothman Prophecies
-I used to love this movie until I realized that they never showed Mothman at all. And most of the movie's about pointless side stories and Richard Gere's broken heart. An Officer and a Gentleman with paranormal tendencies.
Achilles' Heel: Misleading title, confusing plot, bad line delivery
9.) Bio-Dome
-Oh, it sucks. You laughed your ass off at some parts but it sucked.
Achilles' Heel: Stephen Baldwin leeching off of Pauly Shore's hilarity
10.) Harry Potter and Everything After the Prisoner of Azkaban
-What, can't find a good director after Christopher Columbus? That difficult, huh?
Achilles' Heel: Cutting out the good stuff, not sticking to the plot and failing to elaborate on why the hell Karkaroff was in that room for any other reason than to create suspense
11.) Ghost Rider
-LMAO. "Look into my eyes." Ha-haaaaa.
Achilles' Heel: Hiring Nicholas Cage. That'd murder any movie.
12.) Cloverfield
-Oh, what the hell? That thing looked like a bloated/pregnant Godzilla! And you could only see it for half a second. I felt cheated.
Achilles' Heel: Not showing me of the monster I paid money to see
13.) Purple Rain
-Prince is really talented at singing and dancing.
Achilles' Heel: Bad dialogue, story line no one remembers, and the '80's.
14.) Any sequel Disney's done other than Toy Story 2
-I'ma 'bout to catch a case, guys.
Achilles' Heel: Stop making sequels that build on nothing from the PREVIOUS MOVIE. T_T
15.) William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet
-Putting the guy's name before the name of the play makes up for the fucked-up plot and botched modern adaptation? I think NOT.
Achilles' Heel: Claire Danes in those ridiculous angel wings and the whole 'We're talkin' 14th century in the '90's'.
16.) Stay Alive
-Hold me back.
Achilles' Heel: EVERYTHING
17.) An American Haunting
-The whole movie's just a huge 'WTF'. I wanted my money back thirty minutes in.
Achilles' Heel: Wasn't worthy of mah interest; horrible, horrible plot
18.) Havoc
-Anne Hathaway's a G now? NO, she's my adorable dork from The Princess Diaries, not a slutty suburbanite with a hankering for 40 oz.!
Achilles' Heel: Tooootal lack of believability
19.) Twilight
-I want to drive a stake through the series AND the movie.
Achilles' Heel: 'Spider monkey'? 'Say it out loud'? And Robert Pattinson having more make-up on than the Harajuku Girls? Unh-UNH.
20.) Every Friday after the first one!
-You know Mike Epps ain't funny.
Achilles' Heel: No Chris Tucker = no more humor
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